


You'd Said Forever

by AmberLynn88



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Character Death, Hallucinations, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 22:57:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6678844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberLynn88/pseuds/AmberLynn88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When life throws you a curve ball...</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'd Said Forever

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are my own. Still quite new to writing so critique is much appreciated.

"Get up."

I turned my face into my pillow and groaned, "go away Pat."

"Come on Jonny, you gotta get up. Camp starts today and you're already late!"

I grudgingly lifted my head off of the pillows to scowl at Pat's stupid grinning face. I never understood how Pat could be so bright eyed and bushy tailed this early in the morning, but it sure was a beautiful sight to see. His megawatt smile, and bright blue eyes shining in mirth as he poked me in the side.  
  
"You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Come on Jonny, you can't say things like that."

"Why not Pat? Why can't I say that you're beautiful?"

"You know why Jonny. You've gotta let it go. You've got to let _me_ go, it's not healthy," he mumbled while staring at my face searchingly.

Apparently he couldn't find whatever it was that he was looking for on my face because he just shook his head and wandered out of the bedroom with a sad look on his face. I truly wish I could let him go like he wanted, because seeing him hurt so much that I could hardly breathe, but I couldn't not have him in my life. He was the literal light in my life. He lit up the room when he walked in and brightened my day just by existing. So no matter how selfish it was, I couldn't let him go.

After showering and getting dressed I made my way out towards the kitchen in hopes that Pat had made breakfast, but when I got there Pat was nowhere to be seen. I checked the living room and the office before I checked for Pat's shoes by the front door. They weren't there, which was odd, because we always drove to practice together. Huh, maybe Pat was more upset by all of this than I had initially thought. I'll have to see if I can corner him at the rink before practice to sort all of this out so it doesn't effect what we do on the ice.

I knew I really didn't have much more time before I had to leave for the rink, so I just grabbed a couple of protein bars and a Gatorade before making my way to the front door. I slipped on my shoes and made to grab my keys from the bowl when I realized that Pat's keys were still there. Which was really odd because he hated public transportation, but maybe he got a ride with one of the guys anticipating a ride home with me later. I pushed these thoughts from my head as I slipped on my jacket and made my way out to my car.

The drive to the rink wasn't bad and thankfully there weren't many fans outside waiting for pictures and autographs, because I really didn't have that in me today, even though I was one of the faces of the organization. As I made my way inside I noticed that there were a bunch of flowers out front along with some candles, almost like some kind of vigil, but I wasn't aware that someone had died. Maybe one of the guys will know.

As I made my way back to the locker room, I pulled out my phone to see if Pat had sent a text, or maybe called, but no such luck. He must really be mad, he's never this quiet. I pulled open the locker room door and looked up just in time to avoid running into Seabs.

"Sorry Seabs, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"It's all right Jonny. You seem a little distracted, is everything all right? You holding up okay?" He asked with a slight frown and sad eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Oh, by the way, I was wondering if you'd seen Pat at all this morning, he's not answering his phone."

His frown only got worse after I asked about Pat and I really couldn't fathom why. It's not like we were having major problems or anything. Or at least I didn't think we were. Maybe things were worse than I had thought.

"Jonny," he asked cautiously, "why do you think I would have seen Pat this morning?"

"Because he was gone when I came down for breakfast and we always ride in together, so I thought maybe you had picked him up on your way in. We had a bit of an argument this morning, he wasn't very happy with me."

"Oh Jonny" he said with a sad shake of his head. "Come sit down Cap, we need to talk. Let me go grab Duncs, and I'll be right back."

I had know idea what he could possibly want to talk to me about, but I sat and waited for him to return anyways. When he walked back in to the locker room with Duncs trailing behind him, they both had such sad expressions on their faces, that it had me leaping to my feet.

"What's going on guys?" I asked, alarmed. "Is someone hurt? Did someone get traded?"

"Jonny, we need you to sit back down," Duncs said while placing his hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged his hand off, "what the hell is going on guys?! Why're you acting so weird?"

"Jonny, Patrick died three weeks ago. Don't you remember?"

My ears started ringing, and my head started throbbing as soon as I registered what Duncs had said.

"What do you mean Pat's dead?" I could feel myself start to shake. "I just saw him this morning! Is this some kind of cruel joke you guys are playing, because it's not funny!"

"Jonny, Patrick really is gone. You guys were in a car accident three weeks ago. A drunk driver ran a red light and slammed into the passenger side of the cab you were in. The paramedics said he died on impact."

I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, and I could hardly breathe by the time Seabs had finished talking. I felt like there was a vice grip around my heart. I had to get out of here, they couldn't possibly right. Why can't I remember any of this?

"I just... I can't breathe. I need to get out of here"

I heard them calling after me as I ran out of the locker room, but I didn't stop. I kept running until I got to the parking lot. I had to get home. I had to talk to Pat. I _know_ I saw him this morning. As I made my way home, the night of the accident slowly started coming back to me. We had gone out for dinner to celebrate his birthday and were on our way home when the drunk driver hit us. I remember hitting my head on the door window and then losing consciousness for a few minutes. When I came to, I remember calling Pat's name and reaching out for him. When he didn't respond, I turned my head to look at him, and I saw that his eyes were wide open and glassy, and there was blood running down the side of his face from a massive wound on his head.

By the time I got home I was completely numb. I had no more tears, I wasn't angry, nothing. Just a numbness that radiated from my heart. Pat was gone, I was alone, and my life was irrevocably changed, all because of the actions of one reckless person.

I walked into the house in a daze and had just sat down on the couch when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey Jonny"

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "You left me Pat. You promised me forever and now you're gone, and I'm alone. What am I supposed to do without you?"

He looked at me with his sad, blue eyes, "you go on living Jonny. Live for me. Go back to hockey, let the guys help you. You know I would have stayed if I could have. I didn't want to leave you, I love you."

"I love you too baby," I said with a shaky voice. "I was going to propose when we got home that night. I wanted to make our forever official. To quote Beyoncé, I liked so I wanted to put a ring on it."

"I know Cap. You're terrible at keeping secrets. Plus, I found the ring putting laundry away one day." He let out a small, watery laugh, "I mean, really, your sock drawer? How unoriginal."

"I don't know if I can let you go Pat."

"You need to Jonny. I know it's hard right now but it will get easier. Just remember that I will always love you."

I bolted up in bed, drenched in sweat, shaking, and struggling to breathe. I leaned over and flipped on the lamp on the nightstand and tried to catch my breath. I was still shaking when Pat started to stir awake next to me.

"You alright Jonny?"

"Yeah Pat, I'm good." I murmured as I lay back down in bed with Pat curling up along my side.

"Good," he said, while laying his hand on my chest, over my heart. "Because it's a big day today, I need you well rested."

I couldn't, for the life of me, remember why today was a big day when Pat supplied the missing information for me.

"It's my birthday."

 


End file.
